What's your love language?

February 11, 2015

February is the month of Love. It is an opportunity to show how much we truly care for the people in our lives. Valentine’s Day cards are passed out, special dinners are planned and most notably, gifts are given to express how we care and love that special person. As with any relationship with a significant other, child or family member, we are accustomed to these traditions that we picked up while growing up. However, what if we continued this all year round and really figured out what really touches their heart? Wouldn't our loved ones feel more appreciated? Let’s just say it’s easier said than done. For this week’s blog, I wanted to share insight from an important book called "The Five Love Languages" by Dr. Gary Chapman. The book states that there are 5 ways people express love and that everyone may speaks it differently. “Your emotionallove language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese and English.” The goal is discovering two primary ways that your one speaks and applying it into your relationships. If I knew about this book earlier on, it would have helped me understand more clearly how my loved ones expressed love. It could have saved lots of time and energy, arguments and provided a peaceful resolution to a situation.
 
The 5 Love Languages are as followed:
1) Words of Affirmation: Encouraging or kind words and affirmations
2) Quality time: Focused attention; quality conversations or activities done together
3) Receiving Gifts: Buying someone their favorite flowers; visual symbols like a piece of jewelry
4) Acts of Service: Washing dishes, helping out with chores around the house
5) Physical Touch: Holding hands, hugs, pat on the back
 
Dr. Chapman also suggests to find ways to fill up your significant other or family member’s “love tank”. To further clarify, what are ways to make them feel good inside, you know, “Pharrell happy-like?” (cue the song). This could include taking out the garbage, planning date night, bringing home flowers after a long week or simply letting him have the remote control for the night. Interestingly enough, after finding what my two primary love languages are (quality time and a tie between physical touch/words of affirmation), I started to contemplate on the ways loved ones showed me love and discovered the way they showed love was not always my primary love language. For example, receiving gifts. I realized that time well spent with family and friends was more important than any physical thing... and that’s just me. Keep in mind everyone is different but when you discover other people’s primary love languages, you learn tolove that person more effectively! In the end, you are filling up their “love tanks.” That my friends, is priceless!
 
Now that you know The 5 Love Languages, what are your two primary lovelanguages? I encourage you to think about it, share it with your loved ones and discover what their primary language is. You just might find yourself feeling more lovedthis Valentine’s Day, or better yet, all year long! To discover your love language, take a short quiz to find out what love language you speak by visiting http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.
 
Wishing you lots of love this February!

-Elaine



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